98% of Zimbos are literate. Who are the other 2%?

                                                                               Your average Zimbo politician.

According to a newly released report, 98% of the nation is literate. The remaining 2% is made up of politicians.

The Centre for the Deciphering of Inscriptions and Symbols (AKA Reading), said it had conducted extensive research before coming to that shocking conclusion.

“Yes, we can confirm that Unesco has declared Zimbabwe’s literacy rate stands at 98%, the highest on the African continent,” said an expert who looked like he knew what the hell he was talking about.

“We can also confirm that the remaining two percent is made up of MPs and Ministers.”

Asked whether he was not aware that, according to the UN, per capita, Zimbabwe has the world’s highest ratio of PhD Ministers, the expert said: “Take a look around you. Do you see any fucking evidence that this country is run by educated people?”

He pulled out a long list of really dumb shit done by politicians over recent times, from all that whole diesel-from-a-rock buffoonery in Chinhoyi to everything that comes out on ZBC between 8 and 9PM every fucking night. 

But he put it all away very fast because he quickly realised that the 98% who are literate would still vote for the 2% who are dimwits at the next election and these ass-swipes would become MPs, ministers and so forth and he'd be up to his eyeballs in shit.

MPs however said they welcomed the report. One Minister said he was proud that so many people in the country were able to read and write, even if he himself hasn’t the foggiest idea how to do so.