The VP talks bull....

Faithful bulls are no fun 

Women, listen carefully.

Now, if a whole Vice President, a whole war veteran, who shot down a whole helicopter with her AK47, was washing her philandering husband’s feet, then who the hell are you to be complaining about your hubby's cheating?

Listen to the most powerful woman in the country speak: “I did not stop washing by husband’s feet, even when he had done wrong”.

Doing "wrong" here means sleeping around with a few chicks. Beatter, the fat one with the Fanta-face and big ass and the humungous boobies for a general to rest his weary head on. Or Prevalence, the talkative, skinny Rhumba dancer known for climbing up the railings at Rufaro stadium every Sunday to wiggle her skinny ass for Dynamos.

In fact, according to the VP, you women should do nothing about your husbands’ philandering. OK? Just sit down and wash his feet.

Here’s how she puts it: “Kana pamba pako uine bhuru reBrahman, dzichienda kudhibhi haugone kuritaurira kuti servicer (mombe) yekwanhingi usaservicer yekwanhingi.” (interpretation: let bulls roam free)

In fact, while Brahman is servicing all sorts of cows, he gets his spies to trail your ass, making sure you don’t go out to find your own service. That’s what the VP said.

In other words, just let your hubbies, in the deep, philosophical words of the Notorious BIG, “fuck bitches”.

When he comes home in the morning, reeking of liquor and wild pussy, wash his feet and shut your mouth.

And, yet, here you are, you ‘modern woman’, talking out your ass about ‘hee in these days of HIV, hee no to violence against women’.

You women thought you had progressed? No. You are falling backwards into deep backward shit.

And the Brahmans? They roam the fields, looking for random plum heifers to service. Why not?

Women, if our VP can wash the hooves of her philandering Brahman, who are you to demand anything better?

Who are you? Are you a Vice President of a country? No? Did you ever shoot down a helicopter with an AK47? No? Then sit your ass down then.

Shut the hell up and watch those who are Vice Presidents, and those who shot down choppers, peel back all those gains you women figured you had won.