Residents shocked over un-poisoned Harare water

Harare water, without cynanide

Harare residents have expressed shock at news that council water was not already poisonous.

The Herald had reported that some dumb shits at Harare's Morton Jaffray Water Works - who obviously skipped those 'purple triangle means poison' classes in primary school - were about to pour 19 tonnes of sodium cyanide into Harare's drinking water, before some idle driver stopped them.

"We are in shock," one resident said. "So, you mean, all along, our water was not poisoned?"

Other residents expressed shock that council water still existed at all. "We haven't had water here, poisoned or not, for 17 years," some said. "The water shortages would have saved us all", said one resident, wearing a Tsvangirai-in-Australia grin.