The revolution will be virtualised!

See that guy in the photo? Yeah, the one with the red cap. That, right there, is your regular Zimbo! That's like me, right there. Riots? What riots? Me? Join in? Fuck it. Sorry. I'm having my Schweppes Lemon!!

Yesterday, soon as I heard, from the excitable types, that the Arab riots had come (you see, they have to be 'brought') to Zimbabwe, I did not abandon everything, rush off to wear appropriate clothing – maybe like a red T-shirt with some open palm on it or sumthn - and then rush, singing and screaming, into the CBD to join in the ‘Arab-style’ riots that the MDC keeps praying to their MDC gods for.

No. I didn’t.

I, like the regular Zimbo that I am, did what every regular Zimbo does when they hear something's brewing - drive home and turn on the TV.

And, no, the revolution was not being televised.

None of the "massive riots in Harare!!" the twitterati and other desktop revolutionaries had been orgasming over was on TV. Not on eNews or CNN or stuff. Only Kim Kardashian and her ass.

Ah, yes, I said to myself. This is just how I like my 'riots in Zimbabwe'. Only on the excitable internets. Only on the Twitters and Facebooks. At worst, only on the TV, and done by someone else. On my behalf. Never in my street. Never me.

So I switched the channel. And I chilled.

Nothing here. Move right along.

When you're ready to revolt, tell me what time it will be televised. And I will be there in a flash. Right there. On the sofa. Twitter in one hand. Schweppes Lemon in the other.