BREAKING NEWS: 88-year-old Zvimba man defies all logic

Random Zvimba Man being led by Random Mt Darwin Woman upon
arrival of said Random Zvimba Man from a 12 or 15 or so hour flight
                                                                             pic: Daily News

Health Experts were stunned as a random 88-year-old man from Zvimba disembarked from a 12-hour flight from Asia and immediately headed into a series of long meetings that have a serious bearing on the fate of 12 million or so people.

We asked a Health Expert how he reacted to the news. He said: “I was stunned.”

When Cynic arrived at the scene, dozens of witnesses were still as wide-eyed as you would be if you bumped into Makandiwa at the 3rd Annual Zinatha Convention & Witchdoctoring Paraphernalia Expo.

“I have never seen anything like that. A man from Zvimba just came off that plane after it was in the air for about 12, maybe 15 hours, I don’t know, then he just went off to chair meetings we were told are important.”

Asked whether this was why he was as wide-eyed as a goat at a Zimbabwean marriage ceremony, he said “yes”.

Commentators say the world has never seen this phenomenon.
“This is the first 88-year-old man from Zvimba to disembark from a long, long, long flight but still go to chair meetings,” said a political commentator, who declined to be named because most commentators talk shit and who wants their kids to know their father makes a living talking shit.

Zvimba Man boxes a woman. He let her win.

A visit to a Harare old people’s home revealed most 88-year-olds there had never come off a 15-hour flight and headed straight to important meetings.

We asked one old looking man. “No. I have never come off a 12 hour flight. In fact, I have never come off a flight because I have never been on one at all. Do you want to put me on a flight?”

We said no.

We then asked another oldish looking fellow, who may be close to 88, but seeing as he only got had a birth certificate in 1989 these things are hard to tell. He declined to comment saying was hoping the chair he was sitting on was a toilet because he was sure he had just done something.

We were unable to find any 88-year-old man who is like that random man from Zvimba who disembarked from a 12-hour flight and immediately headed into important, long meetings.