Nolbert 4:1-12
1. Then Kunonga was led into the wilderness, to be tempted by the devil.
2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, only because there was no Nandos nearby, he was hungry
3 And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread
4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by the grabbing of church buildings, and renting them out for many shillings
5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, more accurately the CBD, and sitteth him high on the pinnacle of the Anglican temple,
6 And saith unto him, if thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down to the ground: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
And I shall not go down even for you, for I be no homosexual
8 Again, Satan, shaking his head at Kunonga's homo obsession, taketh Kunonga up onto a very high mountain, most probably the Harare kopje, and showeth him all the properties of the Anglican diocese, from the main Cathedral, to Warren Park and Budiriro, and beyond, and the glory of them all;
9 And he said unto Kunonga, All these things will I give unto thee, if thou will fall down and worship me
10 And Kunonga, being pleased with the devil's offer, sayeth unto him, Get thee behind me Satan ... for I shall bend over for you, so you may haveth your way with my fat ass
11 And behold, in exchange for Kunonga's soul, the devil hadeth his way with the bishop's ass
12 And, it came to pass, that even when all the property had soon been removed from Kunonga's hands, so remaineth his ass sore and bruised
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